The woes of being a manager

Being a manager is about defending your position. Being right, or even morally right is not a factor in this - being confident enough to persuade others you’re doing the right thing is. Bullshitting goes a long way, but unless you are very good, there’s always a risk you could get found out. Keeping your head down and doing very little while everyone else around you nearly dies of exhaustion is another option. You can make yourself inconspicuously absent by attending meetings and working from home. Taking into account the bigger picture and planning the next re-organisation takes a great deal of thought and imagination. Stay in one organisation long enough and there’s a good chance of experiencing deja vu. No doubt next time re-packaged as something new. Changing the name of a team is an important way of letting staff know of changes, otherwise they wouldn’t notice any difference. In fact it’s good to bring in some new names from time to time. Trends in society also have an impact on the workplace. It’s become fashionable to use the term Human Resources (known by some as human remains) rather than Personnel. What they do is exactly the same but it’s a way to re-launch something old and unexciting. That way the Director of Human Resources can feel like he’s earned his bonus.

Being a manager means making your mark. To demonstrate that you are adding value you need to be seen to be making a difference. Quick wins are a good way to kick this off. Think of something that has either been done before but no one can remember, or is new but no-one has thought it as being a priority.

Managers view staff as guinea pigs by which managers can practice newly acquired  skills from the last management training course they attended. It’s certainly a challenge to see if you can manipulate someone to do what you want. The reality is that anyone can be a manager, but not everyone can be an effective manager. The other difference from being a foot soldier is that you are exposed to a whole new stratosphere of office politics where personal agendas are a priority. Everyone is trying to get one over on everyone else. The result is that nothing gets done. What’s best for the organisation and the individual become light years away. These days senior managers are almost guaranteed a bonus unless they really screw up. Staff below manager are far too low in the food chain to count. In fact in many cases they're off the radar completely - dispensable as a plastic coffee cup.

A manager is there to ensure work is done by squeezing as much out of you without causing you to go off on long term sick. Even if you are the best performer in a team, there will always be more you can give – like your soul. Gone are the days when you simply turned up for work, did you best then went home. Having a personal life or personality is not going to get you up the career ladder. Getting results, or being seen to get results is the key. This becomes an art in itself. There’s no room for consciences do-gooder’s here. This is an office battlefield with no room for prisoners.  

If an employer can find a computer or robot to do your job, then it will. Today’s workplace is all about getting things done as cheaply as possible without screwing up. On the production line it’s about reducing the thickness of a component to save you ‘x’ tonnes of raw material each year. This is when it becomes a game of risk taking. Just how much more can be skimmed off before the product/component fails?  We’ve all heard of incidents where furniture has collapsed or keys snapped off in doors. 

It’s worth bearing in mind that all managers will have their own personal agenda. In work this is called a personal development plan or career map. Of course this will not include the things like leaving the organisation next year, starting a family or hoping to win the lottery so you can leave work the next day. At the end of the day people need to pay the bills so earning more money goes a long way.

Probably the best managers are those who are born with a personality which fits it. Yes, you can develop and improve skills and techniques until the cows come home but some people are not going to make the grade. Not everyone wants to treat grown adults like children and make them do things they don’t want to. Some people enjoy telling others what to do, probably those with children. These people would also make good teachers or prison guards.

Remember that when the pressure's on it's a case of self preservation and a manager will look after number one despite what they tell their staff. Dignity and morality can take second place when it really hits the fan. Always be weary about what you confide in with you manager. He's not your friend. In the worst case scenario a manager will manipulate and use you. Milk you for all he can. This all sounds rather cynical but these days fierce competition has developed a new breed of manager. The gloves are off for the best prize so learn some good ducking and diving.